Be With You : A 5 Year Tribute!!

You ever wake up and realise that someone you've known all your life is no more? Not being able to accept they are gone forever? Put as many facades that show you are ok, thinking if speaking things into existence can work why won't facades? Well I know that feeling firsthand and five years later it still feels like a fresh wound! I know I can't do anything about it but a part of me still wishes it is a nightmare I will wake from someday. I have tried to believe that 'time will heal my wound and leave a scar' but I have come to terms that I will just learn to live without you. Numbing the pain and the emotions whether tears or smiles have become a coping mechanism and of course facades that exhibit happiness but will I ever be fully happy even with the depression and anxiety? I never really speak about it because people never understand but can I just be alone and find happiness to claim? can I distract myself from the pain by chasing my dreams and living my life? Or will my ego and bottling it up kill me?  To be honest, all I know is I am ok but i am not ok! 

'Your foolish pride can become your suicide'; the love I have for me is the reason i haven't self destructed! And if my pride does lead me to fall into a chasm of life's darkness, if I can still view the light above me, does it matter? I guess these are questions I will never know the answers to but I still ponder, I lost the biggest believer in me but I will never stop dreaming and making it a reality because now I'm doing it for both us. I will be inspired by many but you will forever be an irreplaceable role model and I will be the best version of you; the version you would become if you were still here I miss you everyday, I loved then, I love you now and I will love you always. Farida, continue to rest in perfect peace my sister!❤️💔

Watch #BeWithYou tribute video here!
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Choosing Happy..

Some people tend to believe that depression is a choice and that your mental health isn’t an important factor in achieving happiness.

That mentality kills our society; it is okay to have moods but is depression the same as joy or even sadness?

'Just snap out of it, and pray on it' because apparently we are choosing not to have 100% sanity, let's be honest is anybody fully sane?

‘Why are you choosing to be depressed? You have everything so you have no reason to be’. I didn't realize happiness was engrossed with having things. If there was a switch I'm sure the world would be depression free.

'Time heals all wounds' I was told when you lose someone you will be fine but funny enough I'm still depressed; so what happened to being fine? I guess I'm too impatient to wait on time to perform its magic.

Four and a half years later and facades have become the norm. We know everybody's going to die but does that make it hurt any less? 

'You choose to be depressed, you could have stopped it from happening', but does depression give you notice before it shows up? Did I miss the signs? Did I not foresee the trigger? Or maybe I am living the dream or a painfully orchestrated nightmare!

But in all fairness, if you have never been through the pain of death or experienced depression or any form of mental health issue I should not expect you to comprehend any of it.

Just because you don't, doesn't mean you should make it seem like it is my fault that I am this way.

Ignorance is bliss, especially with when it comes to mental health.

Remember that if you suffer, there's nothing wrong with you, striving to be perfect is redundant because humans are flawed.

Anxiety, depression or whatever is 'wrong' with you, never forget your happiness is essential!

If you think no one cares, remember, I do!

Find serenity in solitude and in congregation.

But I have one question, does it ever disappear, do I numb it or is it going to be an adamant aspect of who I am or best yet who I become?

#26: Quotes of the month!!

“In order to be irreplaceable, one must always be different.”

Coco Chanel

“Success isn’t about the end result, its about what you learn along the way.”

Vera Wang

“For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.”

Audrey Hepburn

“Delete the negative; accentuate the positive”

Donna Karan

“You can find inspiration in everything. if you can’t then you’re not looking properly.”

Paul Smith

“Beauty is power, a smile is its sword.”

Charles Reade

23 things I learnt from being 23

I'm trying to makes this a yearly thing with hopes I can keep it up...

1. You are your happiness
2. Self doubt and comparison will be your downfall 
3. Take risks
4. Impossible is not real
5. Do what you love as often as you can
6. Timing is everything
7. It's ok to be different 
8. Don't let anyone kill your dreams
9. Create your opportunities, if there aren't any!
10. Believe in your ideas
11. It's ok to be unhappy 
12. Don't give negativity power over you
13. Don't dwell on things you can't change
14. Anticipate the future whether good or bad
15. Embrace & learn from the present
16. Cherish moments and memories
17. What you see in people is a reflection of you
18. Never Limit yourself
19. Never stop dreaming
20. Change is ok
21. Self love & reliance will increase your happiness 
22. Negativity will always overshadow positivity. So focus on the positive!
23. Never give up on your goals

#25: Quotes of the month!!

“Sometimes you gotta let it go just to make it possible.”

Alicia Keys

“Success is nothing if you have no one there to share it with.”

Ed Sheeran

“Keep working hard and you can get everything you want.”

Aaliyah

“The beauty of life, the pain never lasts”

J Cole

“During your life, never stop dreaming. No one can take away your dreams.”

Tupac Shakur

“You have to keep your vision clear, cause only a coward lives in fear.”

Nas