The Unequivocal Mind: May 2013

They say you don’t know the value of something/someone until you lose them/it. I think you know their worth you just that you don’t know how much it will hurt when u lose them.

Almost two decades ago when I came into this world I had a sister who was already 12years into living her life. Farida told me she met me lying on the bed wearing a blue and white striped bodysuit. Years passed and we grew closer, not knowing it was just for a short while. She was amazingly awesome.

She was ambitious,courageous,caring, a dreamer and when she puts her mind to do something she never gave up until she achieved it. She was always honest and straight to the point.

She was always there when I needed someone to talk to, a friend or a sister. The caring and loving nature of Farida extended to all she knew. This was evidenced by the turnout of her friends and acquaintances that have met her throughout her life after she passed away.

On the 3rd of June 2012, I woke up ready to make a phone call to her but I never did. I had a chat with her a day before and she seemed fine. About an hour after I woke up I got an IM saying I had lost that one person that meant so much to me. I didn’t believe it but my world stopped. I sent her a message, called her, texted her but no reply,it didn’t even deliver. I forced myself to believe she was in a different plane but who knew I was just living a nightmare in reality.

It felt like a dream I could wake up from and it still does. I still have this absurd thought that one day I will open the door and see her there but no she’s gone forever,I will just have to wait till I meet her in jannah insha Allah.

Days and months passed and I still didn’t believe it until 12th August 2012 when it became real. On that day her remains were brought and she was buried,then I believed she was gone. I still dial her number till date hoping it was just a fictional story but it is my reality.

Not a day goes by that i don’t think of her.What will it feel like if she was still here??People tell me I have to move on but it’s hard and I don’t think I ever will. I may seem ok but inside I’m dying of pain and sorrow also emotionally dead. All I can do now is pray for her and hope to meet her again in jannah insha Allah.

I could keep writing how much she means to me but words wouldn’t be enough to describe how much she is valued in my life or how much I’m hurting. Someday I want to be just like her when I grow older and be remembered like she is when I die.

May your soul rest in eternal peace,may Aljannah be your home and may light shine through your grave. I love you always have and always will and I miss you more everyday.

R.I.P my dearest sister!!!:(</3❤❤❤
(16th November 1981- 3rd June 2012)
original post(tumblr)