Saturday, 11 June 2016


What is pain? This question has a different meaning depending on what a person is going through at a particular period in their life. I am not going to waste your time defining all the types of pain because that is what dictionaries are meant for and painful experiences. 

My type of pain was triggered by losing someone I cared about deeply. I honestly never thought I would experience heartbreak without being in love or in a relationship but I guess mine might have even been worse than those as it was caused by death. My heart shattered in pieces, still trying to mend it but I doubt that is possible I might just have to deal with it or learn to be numb to it. Loss taught me how to turn my emotions off to the point that I can seem emotionally dead or even heartless. Putting on facades and looking like the happiest person in the room when really I'm probably the most broken of all is damn exhausting, trust me. I have been mildly depressed for four years but I'm not here to elaborate on that. The pain still feels like a fresh wound.

I have understood that it is no longer a nightmare, but that it is a reality even though I'm yet to accept that. I have been told that it is not healthy to live with pain but how do I get rid of it? If the pain fades away, will you go with it? I think I will numb the pain for as long as I can, keep up with that hole that will probably never be filled and the alone feeling in the midst of humans! I ask myself if this day will forever be the worst day of my life; or will it go back to being a regular day like it used to be? Hopefully my happiness does not get conquered by the pain, and maybe someday the pain will make me stronger!

Rest In Peace Farida (3rd June, 2012)

"But pain's like water. It finds a way to push through any seal. There's no way to stop it. Sometimes you have to let yourself sink inside of it before you can learn how to swim to the surface."

"If you can sit with your pain, listen to your pain and respect your pain — in time you will move through your pain."

"Time doesn't heal anything. It just teaches you how to live with the pain."

“Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.”
 Vicki Harrison

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