Sunday, 4 June 2017

Be With You : A 5 Year Tribute!!

You ever wake up and realise that someone you've known all your life is no more? Not being able to accept they are gone forever? Put as many facades that show you are ok, thinking if speaking things into existence can work why won't facades? Well I know that feeling firsthand and five years later it still feels like a fresh wound! I know I can't do anything about it but a part of me still wishes it is a nightmare I will wake from someday. I have tried to believe that 'time will heal my wound and leave a scar' but I have come to terms that I will just learn to live without you. Numbing the pain and the emotions whether tears or smiles have become a coping mechanism and of course facades that exhibit happiness but will I ever be fully happy even with the depression and anxiety? I never really speak about it because people never understand but can I just be alone and find happiness to claim? can I distract myself from the pain by chasing my dreams and living my life? Or will my ego and bottling it up kill me?  To be honest, all I know is I am ok but i am not ok! 
'Your foolish pride can become your suicide'; the love I have for me is the reason i haven't self destructed! And if my pride does lead me to fall into a chasm of life's darkness, if I can still view the light above me, does it matter? I guess these are questions I will never know the answers to but I still ponder, I lost the biggest believer in me but I will never stop dreaming and making it a reality because now I'm doing it for both us. I will be inspired by many but you will forever be an irreplaceable role model and I will be the best version of you; the version you would become if you were still here I miss you everyday, I loved then, I love you now and I will love you always. Farida, continue to rest in perfect peace my sister!❤️💔

Watch #BeWithYou tribute video here!
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